Amid a swirling debate over criminalising marital rape in India, several men share their ordeal of sexual violence at the hands of their wives that go unreported.
- Debate over criminalising marital rape in India continues.
- Several men share their ordeal of sexual violence at the hands of their wives.
- Men’s rights activists say law can be highly misused.
Vijay Batra says he spent four nights on the streets after his wife threw him out for failing to fulfil her sexual desires including replicating her pornographic fantasies.
In a marriage that barely lasted six months, he says every refusal to satisfy her meant being humiliated and getting battered.
“Even when I had a fever, I was forced to have sex with her. She told me that I will have to fulfil all her fantasies as I am her husband. She would get rough and bite me so hard that I would bleed,” he told Mail Today.
“I approached the police, complaining of my wife’s behaviour. The response that I received was that they too are helpless as there is no legal provision that would save a husband from a wife’s sexual assault.”
Amid a swirling debate over criminalising marital rape in India, men like Vijay share their ordeal of sexual violence at the hands of their wives that go unreported. And apparently they have no legal remedies except filing for divorce, which they claim does more harm to them emotionally and financially.
On International Men’s Day that was celebrated on Sunday, scores of men in the National Capital Region carried out a rally from Leisure Valley Ground in Gurugram to Red Fort, in a bid to resist criminalisation of marital rape, a matter which is being heard by the Delhi High Court.
SIF-one, the largest all-India helpline for men in distress, gets more than 5,000 calls each month from across India. Many of them are from men who have suffered domestic violence, including physical and sexual assault, but the day they said “no”, they were slapped with multiple frivolous cases and are fighting court battles along with misandry in society.
Rakesh Joshi, 36, says his wife resorted to physical assault whenever he refused to have sex. “It started with emotional abuse at first. I was married for a year and a half and was working at a call centre. There used to be days when my working hours were extremely tiring and left me with no energy to sexually engage with my wife,” he said.
“But, my wife was so adamant that she would blackmail me with the threat of a case of impotence. This left me with no option but to force myself to have sex with her. Eventually, she started clawing my arms and neck whenever I said no,” he added.
When Rakesh decided to fight back, his wife called the police and alleged that he harassed her. “One day I got fed up and pushed her away after she pounced on me. The next moment I saw her calling the police. It was my landlady who came to my rescue and mediated in the matter,” he said.
‘SHE USED TO MOCK MY MANHOOD’
Male victims of sexual abuse in marriage also say that they have become objects of ridicule in society. Suraj Tyagi, a 35-year-old businessman in Delhi, says he has been living with an abusive wife for eight years and takes care of his minor son all by himself. “My wife is so obsessed with sex that she would hurt me and force me to perform unnatural sex. When I could not do it, she used to mock my manhood and threaten to have an extramarital affair,” he said.
“She does nothing at home. I cook for my son, drop him at school and help him with homework. I have tried committing suicide several times, but then thinking of my son I give up the thought. My social circle has reduced to zero and my friends make fun of me.”
Men’s rights activist Amit Lakhani, who is also the president of Men Welfare Trust that organised Sunday’s rally, alleged that the attempt to criminalise maital rape is a deliberate effort to label Indian husbands as potential rapists, a propaganda of having another draconian law without enough deterrents and something which can again be used as a tool to cash in on a failed relationship.
“The society today has generalised men as perpetrators and women as the oppressed gender and laws in India do not recognise domestic violence on men, leave aside spousal sexual violence,” he said.
“But the fact of the matter is that anyone can be at the receiving end of spousal sexual violence. If a wife alleges to being subjected to sexual violence by her husband, we already have laws that cover it,” he added.
(Names of victims changed to protect identity),
Source : India Today Link .